Pyga Pascoe

FOR SALE: LEGENDARY PYGA – NOT FOR SOFT PEOPLE

This bike comes with serious pedigree.
Not Strava fantasy pedigree.
Real pain, real dust, real suffering pedigree.

Race history:

• 磊 1st in the Cape Town Cycle Tour kiddies race (started peaking early)
• 3 x W2W
• 1 x Attakwas
• 1 x Tankwa Trek
• 3 x Trans Baviaans
• 1 x Epic (yes, a real one, not just the sticker)

This bike has ruined lives.

• This bike is the reason my two Jewish mates bought e-bikes.
  (One is a mate, the other is a c*&t.)
  Absolute pissies.
• This bike caused my Epic partner to basically quit cycling…
  and gain 25kg.
• This bike made Dirk get a girlfriend
  just so he could finally have a valid excuse not to ride with me.
• This bike made Noel take EPO…
  and he still couldn’t keep up.
• This bike made Jason… hmmm…
  let’s just say he lost his virginity at 43.
  Don’t worry, I’ll never tell.
  (But this bike knows.)

About the bike itself:

• • It is yellow.
    Not subtle. Not classy. Fast yellow.
  • It has two wheels.
    Both still round. Massive bonus in today’s economy.
  • It has proper suspension front and back
    to smooth out all the bumps in your life…
    except your marriage.
  • It has a hard saddle if you ride more than 50km,
    because comfort is for road cyclists.
  • It has a red handlebar,
    which obviously makes it faster.
    This is science.
  • It is a 2 x 10 - (one buy is for posers)
  • HOPE brakes
    Strong enough to stop a small elephant.
    Or Estiaan after a bakery stop.
  • HOPE hubs – red
    Which means they spin faster.
    Again, science.
  • Dropper post
    Drops lower than a Cape Flats golf.
  • Full service history
    done by one of the best cycle shops in Cape Town:
    Woodstock Cycleworks
    Nils, the owner, LOVED this Pyga.
    Probably more than some of his family.

Summary:

This is not just a bike.

This is:

• a friendship destroyer
• a marriage tester
• an ego crusher
• a lung puncturer
• a podium chaser
• and the reason grown men started looking at battery-powered bicycles.

If you want a gentle Sunday cruise to Kalk Bay for a croissant,
this bike is not for you.

If you want to make your mates question their life choices…
come fetch it.

And if you working on a oils rig and want to buy it for your son, piss off!